Old Navy – Flare Jeans – Curse of All Women, and People

I sure do take on the big topics.  But anyone and I, too, naturally like to talk about advertising, and I imagine I’ll keep on doing so.  And I don’t think my focus here is so minor; it blends my tastes and attitudes with social and gender ones that are far from insignificant.

Old Navy has this new TV ad based on a Debbie Gibson song, featuring four young women bowling.  The song goes:

Old Navy Flares make my legs lean (long and lean),

Go out and take a second glance:
They fit so right, it can’t be wrong,

I’m never taking off these pants.

The ad features three young women coming into a bowling alley, followed by a tokenish pre-teen/tween Asianish girl.  The hot girls throw a few balls (comical stereotype Vinnies pratfall and look on—if you stereotype the guys, then it’s ok to stereotype the girls, is the advertising shorthand of our generation) and then the token gets to dance in front of them.

I guess this ad must have been planned to work on various levels—back to school, telling girls they look lean, junior Asian reps getting to style too, etc (they aren’t selling “junk in the trunk” jeans here, anyway, that’s for sure).

The regrettable thing about flare jeans is that they are essentially impossible to look good in.  If they’re tight and you’re over 6’0” and the flares aren’t so cyclonic as to leave you with a legfull of leaves, then maybe you’re good to go.  Otherwise, though, the comment that flares can make your legs look “long and lean” is just about the most ludicrous statement in recent advertising history.  That’s like saying smoking is good for you.  Flares make you look short and fat and stumpy, and are an egregious assault on aesthetic or fashion senses.

I remember being back in Paris a long time ago, long before my last visit, and down in the subways at night I saw girls wearing flare pants, and I though, “Oh my god, there it is, and here it comes, flare pants will be all over Canada next year.”  Strangely, and thankfully, it never happened.  Quelquefois, meme avec les francais, il y a des faux pas.

Only very lately, I noticed girls walking around, as usual, in tights and ankle-choking jeans, and I couldn’t say I disapproved.  Old Navy must be trying, through the force of marketing and advertising, to turn basic standards on their heads, and say that ugly is pretty and that bad is good, and so on, and make women look bad by wearing flares.  If Old Navy can start a trend and be at the front of it, then Old Navy makes money, no matter how awful it makes women look.

Perturbing things about this ad:

--shown in Canada, but features bowling, something that Canadians do as much as Americans curl—and 10-pin at that (Americans wouldn’t even know there’s another kind of bowling).  It shows Old Navy trying to Patton-ize the world with a steamroll marketing campaign that obliterates local culture (just being American), but of course, many if not most of the most successful advertising companies (b/c let’s face it, that’s what Old Navy is, a brand not clothing) penetrate local markets precisely by being aware of what’s going on and trying to cater to it, rather than trying to bludgeon people into thinking that they should all bowl and eat fries, like Americans who, alas, could never get into their jeans (hence the wish-fulfilment ads).  But then there is that blending of cool and uncool they’re striving for—definitely trying to cover all bases, like a good downmarket piece of advertising ought to.

--the sexless tween robot Asian girl—yes, she’s there b/c Asians represent $, and the girl represents youth who also represent $, but of course she also represents the kind of girl whose figure you’d have to have to fit into those jeans.  She’s a curious mascot who rather evidently doesn’t know what commercial marketing game she’s been induced into.  It’s a little creepy, especially with that Debbie Gibson thing.

Anyway, like I said, I cover the big topics.  Please, no-one, ever, wear flares.  Please. 

(I suppose that last line does cover the whole reason for the post, so please forgive and indulge my wearisome words otherwise.)

"I'm never taking off these pants." 

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