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Well, as I indicated in a post earlier, it's at once funny and sad. Say your daughter had been abducted and the media were charged with getting the message out. And Steve, good ol' Steve, just couldn't manage as much. That'd be a problem.
Anyway, what the hell. Not like CHQR AM 770 cares. I mean, if I were a CHQR AM 770 personality, or one of their advertisers, what the hell would I care if they had a clue what their employees were saying? I mean, it's that old-timey feel, right. It's like homes by Abi. I'm in there for sure. I hear good ol' Steve only now and then, normally when he takes over at 1 a.m. to do the 4-min. newsbit to top the hour. He goes on through the wee hours until 5 a.m., and I don't think he starts at 12 a.m., but I'll clarify. Anyway, for the hell of it, I'll just start noting here the howlers I hear when I hear them and can be bothered to note them.
Steve--take it away!!!!
duh-WAR - Paul Dewar - the Ottawa politician, a longtime parliamentarian whose mother was a significant Canadian political figure and mayor of Ottawa. His name is pronounced like "do-er," as in three-term Calgary mayor Al Duerr. Or the Scotch. Or. . . . Just to be living in this world is not to be living around Steve Norton.
Bar-lee-UH - Chris Baryla. A **Calgary-born** long-time member of the PGA and Nationwide golf tours. His name, as it is spelled, is pronounced "Barillya."
McQuinlan - Matt McQuillan. Another Canadian golfer who has played on the PGA and Nationwide golf tours. As you can see from the last two, maybe CHQR AM 770 could just spring for a pair of eyeglasses for good ol' Steve Norton, and then maybe Calgarians could get something approaching accuracy in their news.
--couple days ago, Steve said Dany Heatley scored one for the Sharks. Yes, Heatley used to play for the Sharks. He plays for the Minnesota Wild now. Man like Steve, all he's gotta do is pull the spool like Bobby Troup on _Emergency 51_. But no, Steve, having realized his error and bumbling and fumbling over it, continued nevertheless!! Now _THAT_ is when your daddy really works for CHQR. When you can brazenly screw up and know it, and then brazenly keep on screwin' up. If Steve Norton were in charge of letting me know if there was a rapist on the loose, CHQR would have no ass left to sue.
--last night Pekka Rinne became "Reen-UH"; I thought it was Steve's prom date, but he did a double salcow on the second turn. It's clear that sports are troublesome for Steve; he's only got 45 seconds or so of news to do, so if the Toronto Astronauts are playing, then blast off!!
It occurs to me, though, that maybe Steve really is developmentally delayed. Maybe CHQR is giving an opportunity to a slow person. If this is really the case, and CHQR is giving an opportunity to someone who (can barely stay awake but) really wants to do what he's doing, then I'll take this post away in a second.
--lately:
Referring to Raptors Italian player, Steve came up with Barn-yanni, as opposed to "barn-jhonni. Yanni--hee hee, CHQR AM 770 says to its Italian listeners.
It's key, though, if you're CHQR, to really amp up your disrespect for other people, so CHQR has been lately pilin' it on, with, say, Peter Haight (hate?), who came up with Teemu Seleenee for Teemu Selanne, and the aforementioned Josie Fotah, who came up with "Randing Cunningworth" for Randy Cunneyworth, and, again, "Teemu Shelanee" for "Teemu Selanne." Who would have thought reading would have been so hard? But lo, it is, and a joyous disrespect for Canadians of all backgrounds mounts all CHQR AM 770 programming.
If anyone lets Steve Norton out of the building attempting to pronounce Milos Raonic, who is pretty much on the verge of the greatest tennis player this country has ever produced, then clear the area and I'll call the cops and bring in the traffic 'copter myself.
--Lately Steve came up with Pekka Ryne, for Pekka Rinne.
--During the recent Australian Open, Steve observed that the women's semifinals were still taking place, and that Maria Sharapova and Petra Kvitova were still "on the court." The match had ended 20 mins. or more before he started his "newscast." But hey, maybe I'm too critical. Maybe Steve was broadcasting from Hawaii that night.
--good ol' Josie (not Steve) came up with "Darn-eye-ay" for Canadiens forward David Desharnais. Canada does have a couple official languages, and obviously CHQR would be outraged at having to know even one, but even in America, I've just kinda got a funny feeling most Americans wouldn't call it San Josie.
--new guy John Happy (?) came up with "Car-ta-Gee-Nuh" for Cartagena. No doubt his parents are very prowd of him for his ignorance, and CHQR AM770 Program Director John Vos is thrilled at his new charge. Ain't no sense being a dorcque if you can't be prowd of it.
--tonight on a couple of occasions Steve tried to call Martin Hanzal "Hazel." I wouldn't point it out unless Steve-o didn't just keep doing it.
--Steve also came up with "Vuhberta" for Radim Vrbata.
--and in the same night, "Veh-barta." And Petrangeloh for Frank Pietrangelo. And "Incarnashun" for Edwin Encarnacion. All in all, just a standard screwup night for what would take 1-2 mins. to verify on the web.
Anyway, what the hell. Not like CHQR AM 770 cares. I mean, if I were a CHQR AM 770 personality, or one of their advertisers, what the hell would I care if they had a clue what their employees were saying? I mean, it's that old-timey feel, right. It's like homes by Abi. I'm in there for sure. I hear good ol' Steve only now and then, normally when he takes over at 1 a.m. to do the 4-min. newsbit to top the hour. He goes on through the wee hours until 5 a.m., and I don't think he starts at 12 a.m., but I'll clarify. Anyway, for the hell of it, I'll just start noting here the howlers I hear when I hear them and can be bothered to note them.
Steve--take it away!!!!
duh-WAR - Paul Dewar - the Ottawa politician, a longtime parliamentarian whose mother was a significant Canadian political figure and mayor of Ottawa. His name is pronounced like "do-er," as in three-term Calgary mayor Al Duerr. Or the Scotch. Or. . . . Just to be living in this world is not to be living around Steve Norton.
Bar-lee-UH - Chris Baryla. A **Calgary-born** long-time member of the PGA and Nationwide golf tours. His name, as it is spelled, is pronounced "Barillya."
McQuinlan - Matt McQuillan. Another Canadian golfer who has played on the PGA and Nationwide golf tours. As you can see from the last two, maybe CHQR AM 770 could just spring for a pair of eyeglasses for good ol' Steve Norton, and then maybe Calgarians could get something approaching accuracy in their news.
--couple days ago, Steve said Dany Heatley scored one for the Sharks. Yes, Heatley used to play for the Sharks. He plays for the Minnesota Wild now. Man like Steve, all he's gotta do is pull the spool like Bobby Troup on _Emergency 51_. But no, Steve, having realized his error and bumbling and fumbling over it, continued nevertheless!! Now _THAT_ is when your daddy really works for CHQR. When you can brazenly screw up and know it, and then brazenly keep on screwin' up. If Steve Norton were in charge of letting me know if there was a rapist on the loose, CHQR would have no ass left to sue.
--last night Pekka Rinne became "Reen-UH"; I thought it was Steve's prom date, but he did a double salcow on the second turn. It's clear that sports are troublesome for Steve; he's only got 45 seconds or so of news to do, so if the Toronto Astronauts are playing, then blast off!!
It occurs to me, though, that maybe Steve really is developmentally delayed. Maybe CHQR is giving an opportunity to a slow person. If this is really the case, and CHQR is giving an opportunity to someone who (can barely stay awake but) really wants to do what he's doing, then I'll take this post away in a second.
--lately:
Referring to Raptors Italian player, Steve came up with Barn-yanni, as opposed to "barn-jhonni. Yanni--hee hee, CHQR AM 770 says to its Italian listeners.
It's key, though, if you're CHQR, to really amp up your disrespect for other people, so CHQR has been lately pilin' it on, with, say, Peter Haight (hate?), who came up with Teemu Seleenee for Teemu Selanne, and the aforementioned Josie Fotah, who came up with "Randing Cunningworth" for Randy Cunneyworth, and, again, "Teemu Shelanee" for "Teemu Selanne." Who would have thought reading would have been so hard? But lo, it is, and a joyous disrespect for Canadians of all backgrounds mounts all CHQR AM 770 programming.
If anyone lets Steve Norton out of the building attempting to pronounce Milos Raonic, who is pretty much on the verge of the greatest tennis player this country has ever produced, then clear the area and I'll call the cops and bring in the traffic 'copter myself.
--Lately Steve came up with Pekka Ryne, for Pekka Rinne.
--During the recent Australian Open, Steve observed that the women's semifinals were still taking place, and that Maria Sharapova and Petra Kvitova were still "on the court." The match had ended 20 mins. or more before he started his "newscast." But hey, maybe I'm too critical. Maybe Steve was broadcasting from Hawaii that night.
--good ol' Josie (not Steve) came up with "Darn-eye-ay" for Canadiens forward David Desharnais. Canada does have a couple official languages, and obviously CHQR would be outraged at having to know even one, but even in America, I've just kinda got a funny feeling most Americans wouldn't call it San Josie.
--new guy John Happy (?) came up with "Car-ta-Gee-Nuh" for Cartagena. No doubt his parents are very prowd of him for his ignorance, and CHQR AM770 Program Director John Vos is thrilled at his new charge. Ain't no sense being a dorcque if you can't be prowd of it.
--tonight on a couple of occasions Steve tried to call Martin Hanzal "Hazel." I wouldn't point it out unless Steve-o didn't just keep doing it.
--Steve also came up with "Vuhberta" for Radim Vrbata.
--and in the same night, "Veh-barta." And Petrangeloh for Frank Pietrangelo. And "Incarnashun" for Edwin Encarnacion. All in all, just a standard screwup night for what would take 1-2 mins. to verify on the web.
Wow, somebody else thinks the same way I do. You can always tell it's Steve because you can hear that long breath he takes before he comes on air. Sometimes I don't know who the heck Steve is talking about because he messes things up so badly. But... Josie Fauteux and Rochelle Elder are FAR worse.
ReplyDeleteWell, somewhere up there I said something about "ongoing," and I thought maybe I'd compile an amusing list of all the faux pas. If I still have ‘qr on after the old radio shows, I get Steve or whoever. But of course the simple fact is that pretty well every 4-min. newscast contains numerous mistakes. I mean, this post would scroll across the ocean if I’d listed them all.
DeleteSo I just continue in my amazement that ‘qr revels in hiring people to read the news who can’t read, or listen, and are apparently too lazy and disrespectful to try to get names and places and words and so on correct.
As I allowed, hey, mistakes happen. The other day, I heard CBC’s Chris della Torre subbing in on a morning program, and he had to read the sports, which clearly just ain’t his bag, because he sure hashed it up. But that really, really stood out because, really again, it’s so rare that you hear most announcers screw up badly. Oh sure, there was CTV National News anchor Lisa LaFlamme gaily introducing and commenting on the country of Krizzgestan during the opening ceremonies of the London Olympics, but, well, consider the CTV source and personality on that one. As with CHQR, Lisa probably got a pat on the back from CTV for butchering the name of some weirdo place with “stan” in the name that probably has Muslims in it.
Along somewhat analogous lines, I must say, when listening to Steve, I’ve never really thought him capable of too much nefariousness; I’ve always just agonized with him as he struggles pausingly through his bit of copy (the man is undergoing cruel torture!!). But then a while back Steve was confronted with the name of Brian Pincott, a well-known city councilor who is almost unique in not being known for his right-wing ideology. So, the name “Pincott”—how would you say it? Well, Steve managed to say “pinko” about three times. Pinko, eh? One wonders what ‘qr is slipping into Steve’s copy.
As for Josie, well, what a train wreck. A few minutes ago, she offered “Palesky” for “Pavelski,” and “Nah-poley” for “Napoli.” It’s true that the ‘qr newsbits are about 2 mins. news, a min. or so sports, and less than a min. of weather. Well, weather isn’t going to present too many problems; most of us have heard “cloudy,” so we don’t say “cloody” or “cloddy.” And the news is going to contain largely familiar names in general currency. Sports will have many different names, so mistakes can be expected there. Still, a pinch of pride, a hint of integrity, a dash of politeness and respect, a second or two to click a website and find out the real pronunciation—this would not be too much to ask of most people. One of my Josie faves was just the other night in the brief newsbit, and it goes to the word “listen” that I used above. First, she introduced an item about Obama deciding to take a pay cut in solidarity with federal workers who had to take furloughs as a consequence of the sequestering and automatic budget cuts. She spoke of “froolows” and then played the few-second bit which actually pronounced the word correctly for her. Then she introduced an item involving Chuck Hagel and, I think, his response to the North Korean threats. She called him “Haggle,” and then played the few-second bit in which, yes, Hagel’s name was actually pronounced right. Can’t read, won’t learn, or doesn’t listen—all three or take your pick.
And then now there’s Rochelle. . . . It’s beyond baffling. Say you couldn’t swim and in fact hated water. Where could you get a job as a lifeguard? CHQR AM 770, naturally.
Well, here's one earlier comment that was sent:
ReplyDeleteOn Fri, Jan 6, 2012 at 1:10 AM, Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Shiftless? Incompetent? Ignorant? – Get a Job Read...":
You couldn't have said it better. I, too, have been stunned by the night reader!
Precisely how I found your rant---decided to google Steve!
Posted by Anonymous to Zorg Report at 6 January 2012 01:10
Hi. This isn't Steve-related, it's about Josie Fauteux. They had her reading the 11:00pm news yesterday, Sat Aug 31 (upgraded her from the graveyard shift). Her news-reading skills have improved dramatically over the past few months with the occasional screw-up; but last night she sent me over the edge. Some guy got hit by a train up around Three Hills and Trochu. Know how she pronounced "Trochu"? TORCH. That's right, TORCH. And not once, but twice. I'm still shaking my head over that one. I would have expected TRAH-shoo or TROH-choo from her, but TORCH? Seriously??!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I heard this, I immediately thought of you. Enjoy.
Trains do increasingly seem to be ahead of us, often as torches few of us know anything about in advance. I could put it to you that Josie is a kind of preternatural newscaster, but I'd have to test her by asking her to say "preternatural" first just to be sure.
DeleteWell, I suppose I should jot down some of the more hilarious boners I hear now and then, but since essentially _no_ chqr am 770 nighttime news broadcast goes without some kind of screwup, it would be kind of like noting the number of cars that go down your street, say. It is weird that the printed word remains such a mysterious image to chqr am 770 readers.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I was trying to point out in my two posts on the topic was simply that, back in the day, people who did things like read the news actually had to have a bit of basic general knowledge. Now, with the internet, you don't need that; you can just google it. But even this is too much for chqr am 770 newsreaders to be bothered with--a couple of seconds of googling--that's just too much to expect.
I don't know if I'm even hearing Steve that much these days; it is true that he makes some of the new female readers look amateur, if that is possible. I think, after months of calling Edwin Encarnacion "Encarnshun", he might be starting to learn this name. For a far-right Bible-based station to keep getting overtly Christian names wrong is amusing and ironic, but also typical of chqr am 770.
I guess my last word for now, though, is, again, how the chqr am 770 readers just never make an effort to read or digest or comprehend the couple minutes of copy they're going to have to read _in advance_, or don't just bluff their way through. No, they almost always smash into words they don't get like they've just walked into a telephone pole and stumble around concussed until, after a few hapless tries, they leave the word or name and go on "reading." I mean, if it were me, I'd take 2 secs. on the internet to learn how to say what I am going to have to read, but if 2 secs. doing that was way too much work, then I'd probably just bluff and blow on through. Or, similarly, if I thought I *did* know how to pronounce something (but didn't), I'd just blow on through until someone eventually corrected me. But not the chqr am 770 readers. They just come up to words they've downloaded or cut and pasted as copy, and they start speaking as though they're trying to communicate with dogs or babies or aliens. For every few-minute spot to be a new adventure, all night, every night, for chqr am 770 newsreaders is, indeed, a feat.
-zr
It’s a fact that too much e-reading, texting and tweeting scrambles people’s brains.
ReplyDeleteOne of the better readers was the recently dismissed Darren Robertson, but I suppose you heard what happened with him. Even Rochelle Elder has gotten her act together and delivers a much-improved read, I couldn't believe my ears and was actually kind of impressed with her.
While I don't know what goes on in a newsroom, I would imagine they could take time to read their stuff a few times and, as you say, take a few seconds to google words they're not familiar with, I know I would if I had any pride in myself and some consideration for my employer’s reputation as a credible news source.
My favorite part is when you hear the telephone ringing in the background during the news broadcast - you would think they might avoid sending calls to that local during the newscast, or at least shut off the ringer.
ReplyDeleteAh Chy Chy, well did we know him. I also hear the computer bleeps during 'qr 'casts. And don't forget the only reason I hear these is because I like the old radio shows, but they themselves are so often messed up and screwed up and the endings cut off and so on that it just shows, once again, CHQR AM770's utter contempt for its listeners.
DeleteAnyway, anyone hear "Rochelle Elder" trying to deal with Jarrod "Saltalamacchia" during the baseball playoffs? Dear lord. After about 3.5 tries, Rochelle was so flummoxed that she just gave up in despair and told us it'd be -3 in Red Deer. I wonder if she can make Kraft Dinner. She can't take a couple hours to look up a name on the internet, so. . . .
Sure, for the non-literate, "Saltalamacchia" might look like a horrific collision of letters, but really, if you just sound it out by syllable (you'd have to know how to read first, though), it really oughtn't to be so hard--Sal-TA-la-Ma-kee (or even chee would do)-ah. Done and done. Just read the letters in front of your face, as if you were trying to text, or something.
Too much to do if you work at CHQR AM770, though.
Dear Steve is with us still. Calgary Mayor Naheed Nenshi just won the bi-annual World Mayor Prize. You might think that a Calgary-based station like AM770 would take an interest in this, a world award, but since Nenshi is not white and with kids and a wife and a Tory donor/advertiser, AM770 made sure to put him where he belongs. In a gesture of pettiness and ignorance suited to AM770, Steve Norton indicated that the second-place finisher to Nenshi was "the mayor of Belgium." Nothing could more perfectly express CHQR's childish ignorance and hatred of those who do not look like them.
Delete