What is the best NHL logo? What is the best NHL jersey?

What is the best NHL hockey jersey?

What is the best NHL hockey logo?

I’m glad you accidentally clicked here and found me writing this, for I will tune you in.

Who has not whiled away a few seconds, amongst voluble acquaintances or alone after an icing call, musing on who really has the best jersey?  I was recently seated, doing one of my favourite things, reading my friend Jeff Stanford’s _The Gondola_, which emanates from Toronto.  So far as I know, he and his Leafs journal were most recently written up here: http://scribemag.ca/2011/10/blue-and-white/

In the latest issue (10.5: Feb., 2011), Jeff, referring to the 2013 Winter Classic, to be played at Michigan Stadium, writes of the teams to be involved (Toronto and Detroit):

They have been rivals since the 1920s.  The sweaters they wear can truly be described as ‘iconic,’ an appellation that has yet to be applied to any of the togs worn by the expansion teams.  Toronto and Detroit taking the ice is one of the most resplendent sights known to fans.

Well put.  Just to see those iconic jerseys burst onto the ice does put one in mind of Davey Keon and Ted Lindsay, and the thought of those immortal apparitions surely thrills any hockey fan.  And how could a hockey player not be inspired to wear such a garment, trailing glorious victories behind him as he seeks the next great triumph?  

Don’t think it doesn’t mean something.  Jim Bouton, briefly a World Series-winning Yankees fireballer before his arm blew out, famously detailed his efforts to stay in the game in his 1970 book, Ball Four.  On more than one occasion, he noted the simple majesty of his former team’s pinstripes, versus the baby-blue pyjamas (Blue Jays, anyone?) he had to wear with the expansion Seattle Pilots.  For instance, opening day, 1968, in Anaheim, he noted: 

There was a lot of grousing about the uniforms.  [. . .]  I guess because we’re the Pilots we have to have captain’s uniforms.  They have stripes on the sleeves, scrambled eggs on the peak of the cap and blue socks with yellow stripes.  Also there are blue and yellow stripes down the sides of the pants.  We look like goddamn clowns. (103)

Mm.  Well then, let me rank for you the best NHL jerseys, after a few caveats.

1. I am referring to jerseys that came at or after the late 1960s/1970s expansion period. 

2. I realize that many jerseys, even with classic teams, have undergone many changes.  I realize that there are many NHL teams that are now gone, and while I may refer to them, I won’t include them in the rankings of _the teams currently extant at the time of this writing_.  Also, I more or less will not refer to any so-called “3^rd” (or “4^th or 5^th or 6^th) jerseys.

3. My rankings are obviously a fan’s subjective rankings, duh.  I will probably make               some mistakes in what I am talking about, and I admit these errors in advance.  If any of my numerous readers from pornhackingsite.ru wish charitably to nudge me towards a greater truth, why, I welcome such insight, Sergeis.

4. My enthusiasm for this endeavour was dampened utterly when I really did have a look at the logos now on offer.  Good xst.  I should put us all out of our misery and offer the top 6 and give 24 7^th places.

5. I *tried* to go as fast as I could, but in Gary Bettman’s crazee carnival of yee-haw hockey, I just got bogged down.  This is tough.

Anywhere, here we go.

#1 – Red Wings.  Captures the speed and power of the game, roots itself in the city (or shell of it before it was moved to Mexico).  Simple, unsurpassed.

#2 – Blackhawks. Such a complicated jersey.  Racist I guess. I’m relatively new to the racist game, though I’ve taught it for nearly 20 years. You would think, with the thin stripes, that it couldn’t make it in today’s game.  But put it on Denis Savard, Tony Esposito, Jonathan Toews, Stan Mikita, or Bobby Hull, and it’s just a jersey that compels and can terrify like Cliff Koroll as your father-in-law.

#3 – Blues.  Classic colours, pre-70s Atari/Coleco.  It may be that St. Louis has not a lot more to do with the blues than Los Angeles does with lakes, or Utah with jazz, but it’s still a good uniform that is of its moment (a bit clunkily) but with staying power.

#4 – Leafs.  Very hard even to know what a Leafs uniform looks like, so often have they adulterated it.  A Cup winner in the west, Cliff Fletcher, attempted to restore sanity and dignity in the early 90s, and almost brought Toronto a Cup again.  The generic Atari/Coleco 70s logo is, alas, the one I remember best.  Some years ago, the Leafs went to a stripeless nightie that made Captain Mats Sundin look like Casper the silly ghost.  No other original six team would tamper so ceaselessly, stupidly, and shamefully with a classic jersey as Toronto.  Would Montreal?  Sadly, that says a lot.

# 5 - Jets. – Despite the obvious military pandering and ill-advised colour scheme, I find this jersey wise and half-way (not .75) to a classic.  It has a hint of the old Falcons in it, and it wisely stays away from the “stick and puck” motif of the old Jets jersey or most other new ones.  Close to a good job.  It isn’t classic, but it’s so close you have to take it over so many other non-classics.  I could rank it lower, but not more than 1-2 places lower.

# 6 - Sabres. – Hard to know what it has to do with the city (a bison, not a buffalo, is pictured, and I think of wings and miserable weather, not swords, when I think of Buffalo).

#7 - Rangers. – Probably the best pants in the league.  After that, it’s Eddie Giacomin and a prayer.

#8 - Bruins. – That’s inventive.  Only Bronco Horvath and Cam Neely make me put it here.  Only.

#9 - Canucks. – Original expansion, Dennis Ververgaert. Let’s just say Babe Pratt’s 3-yr-old niece was asked to draw this logo.  Unsurprisingly, she could not imagine a “Canuck,” but she did have a sense of what a “stick” her uncle showed her looked like.  Great colours, logo so bombastically rudimentary it makes it look as if Vancouverites played hockey, and rioted, in the 1790s.  For out-nostalgia-izing even people who saw Newsy Lalonde score six, I hand it to this logo.  Forget Holland canals and Millionaires; this jersey makes it plain Chaucer’s pilgrims played hockey during downtimes when carriage wheels were getting fixed.  As for the endless succession of egregiously awful logos following that one, well.  I guess I’d want to smash something up, too.

#10 - Kings. – Only ranking the royal yellow/purple here.  Old-time hockey, with a poet who knew it, Sheldon Kannegiesser (http://warriorsofwinter.com/).  Ask yourself, hockey fan, can _you_ remember a Kings jersey other than the purple/gold Kings?  Dionne, Vachon, Taylor, Robitaille.  That’s the only true pride.  They did some crazy things out there, the Golden Seals, etc.  But who says a man can’t wear bright colours? 

#11 - Canadiens. – Have spent such a lifetime hating this team that I can’t observe it objectively.  I recognize that the colours are ok, the logo is meaningful, etc.  But still I find the away (used to be home) logo faint and weak.  Top 3 original six are Wings, Hawks, Leafs; bottom three are Bruins/Rangers, Habs.  If it were based on heart, this team would probably rank 30^th; as it is, I only rank it where I rank it on, basically, speculative terms.  I can’t even accept my own decision.  I’m like a judge who says “get me outta here, I’m a heroin addict.”

#12 - Flames. – Kudos to the Flames for sensibly going with Atlanta colours and even a name that, curiously, made sense.  Regrettable Atari/Coleco 70s “C,” but, as with the Flyers and 3 cup trips of their own, you don’t buy or sell tradition, you earn it.

#13 - Capitals. – Original jerseys almost laughable, given how laughable they were.  But over time, the idiotic New York Americans-style jerseys have grated less.

#14 - Islanders. – A mittful of Cups will win your suit some credibility, and after the atrocious other jerseys introduced, going back to the original is just merciful.  I don’t even know if the Trottier-Bossy-Gillies-Potvin-Resch one was bad, but I do know that, whatever happened in the interim, I am glad like hell to see it back.

#15 - Flyers. – One of the most Atari/Coleco logos of all time.  Looks less like something flying than something landing, with a splat.  Or Kate Smith on her wedding day in the park. A hapless imitation of the Red Wings’ logo, but that bright orange just seems made for people like Terry Crisp and Reggie Leach.  No wonder they tried to go all black.  No wonder Paul Holmgren’s molars are stumps.  But they stuck with it.

#16 - Penguins. – They’re silly, but they’re loveable. Syl Apps wore those baby blues.  Mario Lemieux wore a black one with a white cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  It’s a perplexing image, but they’re still there.

#17 - Oilers. – Unsubtle copy of the Islanders.  Disproportionate 70s bubble logo, too busy with the piping; they think they are playing a game other than hockey.  Almost classic look, but with almost the first last-place team in history to field a team of all first over-all draft choices, the logo is losing its look, and taking on more of this one:

http://mitch5150.deviantart.com/art/Edmonton-Losers-153822305

#18 - Stars.  – Dallas can’t match Minnie.  Surprised that Dallas didn’t put more of its own stamp on things, but, hey, they did like the Flames and they won a Cup with a foot.  They kept it simple.  The black is unfortunate, but understandable.  They ought to have amped up the gold.  The green makes no sense in Texas.

#19 - Wild. – Wonderful colours and scheme.  Shame about the hacked-off head of some beast.  But what would you do with a name as inane as “Wild”?  They sound like they play in the ECHL—the East Coast Hokey League.

#20 - Sharks. – Cheesy newstyle that has no reference to the city, but I like the teal.  Unfortunate for a hockey team, but gets silly points.

#21 - Devils. – Meant something when they won.  Mock-up of the old Hartford Whalers (who also adored the Canucks’ original).  Meant something when Daneyko or Madden wore it; on Kovalchuk, Gretzky’s Mickey Mouse looms more and more into view.  A very sullied Jersey lately.

#22 - Coyotes. – Doing this odyssey, I did it without looking at any sites or anything to remind me.  When I got to the end, exhausted, I had to check what teams I’d missed.  Penguins (who used to be blue) and Coyotes (who used to wear a shirt that looked like barf).  Frankly, I like those new ‘yotes uniforms.  I like the colour, and I like how the dog is not 45X his original size.  And it’s symbolic of death in the desert.  He ought to be a lean, hungry, hopeless, baying hound, having found not even a cheese-rind in a McDonald’s wrapper in a wind-flapping dumpster in an empty parking lot outside a windswept Glendale mall, with only 15 gun-totin’ security-mall men to scare ‘im off.

#23 - Hurricanes. – Like the colours; had momentary significance when Ron Francis was there. Hard to make a hurricane look so unexciting, but they hired the ad agency, they paid the money, and they put on the jersey.  It’s exciting, right?

#24 - Ducks. – It’s a personal thing.  I rank the new black one that is empty of any notability. I loved the evil Duck goalie mask.  I would walk down the street with that on like I’d walk down the street with “one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.”  Have some balls!  The new logo sucks.  If you’re willing to walk down the street with a Ducks goalie-mask jersey on, you’re ready to do anything.  Believe me, next to a homeless person, you do NOT want to get into a fight with someone who is willing to walk down the street with a Ducks goalie-mask jersey on.  For you know that that person has nothing to lose.  You might think “oh, yeah, I can take this Duck person on,” but trust me, as sure as I am sitting here, you will lose an eye, ear, nose, or throat to someone who is willing to wear a Duck goalie-mask jersey.  Or balls.  Do not f**k with Ducks.

#25 - Lightning. – Maybe it’s supposed to be like superman, but it’s really almost like the anti-logo.  I think it kind of looks like what happens if you have one of those clip-on cleaner-disinfectant things on your toilet bowl that releases a bluish streak when you flush.

#26 - Bluejackets. – I’m flaggin’ out here.  Give me the bug with a stick. Caps ripoff now, they look more and more like the Washington Generals they are.  That Bluejackets thing must go down like banana pudding in Carolina.  If they had have chosen their new logo as their original, I might have bumped them up a notch; but you can’t rip off someone else (Washington) and get credit for it, unless you work in Washington.  Their logo says what they are: AHL.

#27 – Predators. – A beast that could only gnaw at its own throat.  Barry Trotz must know something about this.  And if you hang out around Nashville, you’ll find most beasts just can’t get off their hinds long enough to threaten you much.

#28 - Senators. – A logo that has virtually nothing to do with the city or the sport, bad colours, etc.  I thought I saw once upon a time a logo notion that incorporated the parliament (no, not the silly, busy one with the flag).  Something simple and declarative, using the red/white/black, could have been really effective.  But in the ultimate expression of Canada, the capital of Canada, Ottawa, chose utterly nonsensical reference to, ah, Rome?  This is so bizarre and incomprehensible that it beggars analysis.  This would be like Sierra Leone choosing an ice-cream cone for its national flag.  Can you imagine a soccer team in Rome choosing the Rideau Canal as its emblem?  Well, that’s what Ottawa did.  You wouldn’t believe it if you didn’t see it.

#29 - Panthers. – A cat with .01 cm balls and 1m paws.  Garish, idiotic colours.  Someone like Walt Disney drew this one, addled, febrile, not within his own mind, and disturbingly obsessed, at 4 a.m., with some kind of _cat_.

#30 - Avalanche. – Groovy, like Uwe, never lasts more than a couple years.

Aftermath:

What have I learned about this exercise that I tried to conduct quickly?  Well, of course, original 6 teams were favoured; that’s not surprising.  Also, that it takes time, longer than I’d have liked. Teams more or less corresponding to my shelf-life also seemed somewhat though not always to be favoured. I frankly don’t believe that my listing is all that debatable.  Oh, yes, sure, there will be the odd fan from somewhere who will want to put their teams up there, above all reason.  But I think most fans won’t argue that much with me; they will quibble up or down 1 or 2 teams, but I doubt, really, that most hockey fans will want to jump up one team over the other more than a few places.  I’m probably about the 450 000^th person to do this so far, so as time goes by, I’ll have a look at what they’ve done, too, and see if I want to make any adjustments. 

Especially in the middle ranges, I might be open to change, but towards the bottom, and especially the top, I doubt that there’s a great deal of room for movement.

Your faithful servant,

zr