www.cbc.ca/thenational/ : online advertising, now at triple the volume!!!

Yep, that’s right, CBC is more desperate than ever to covet advertisers, so CBC has really stepped up to the plate by ensuring that advertisers who are spliced in every few minutes will be able to ensure that their volume is a minimum **three times** as loud as the regular broadcast.

CBC has not expressed any concern about whether or not people could watch The National online; advertising, they know, is much, much more important.  One CBC correspondent, who declined to be named, fumed: “I go to all this trouble to file solid reports, and even I have to convulse away from my computer every few minutes when the ads come on.  I can’t watch this show, and I work for it!”

The Report, having verified by basic computer functions that CBC is now cranking the advertising to 3X regular broadcast levels, attempted to reach CBC officials for comment, but those officials kept saying “eh, eh?  What?  What?” or gestured via live cam at their ears, as if to say there were some problems in communicating.

Nevertheless, advertisers will be sure to jump on this serious CBC The National bandwagon—a chance to have their ads played online at fully 3X the volume of regular broadcasting.  This will make the ads so deafening (see above re: CBC employees) that even potential clients beyond the basic contracted catchment area (next door, around the block, etc., will be able to hear the advertising), too.  No word from advertisers yet on whether or not they want their products to be associated with extreme discomfort, having to disable/click off websites, and/or the known health risks and quality of life issues scientifically linked with hyper-volume and its debilitating long-term effects.